Serial daters often make grandiose statements.
If you ever hear comments like, “I was a player before I met you,” “I’ve never opened up to someone like this before,” or “I’ve never felt serious about anyone until now,” let yourself feel the feels, but then consider the context.
Has this person also talked about their intentions and desires—a.k.a. what they’re looking for in their dating process? Have they actually communicated that they want to build a relationship with someone? Do their words match up to their actions—are they planning dates with you (and sticking to them), being vulnerable, and showing future-oriented thinking? If not, or if you’re getting mixed signals, you may have a serial dater—albeit a very charming one—on your hands.
Real talk: You’re probably not going to dive into the ex files on your first or second date with someone (generally a good idea). But after the first few dates or weeks when things are going well, especially if you’re confused about their intentions, you might want to casually bring up the convo.
Ask this person about their last two or three relationships, specifically how serious they were and how they ended. If it comes out that they were the one to end every major relationship, take a minute to digest that. Someone who ends relationships quickly might lack problem-solving skills (which are obviously necessary for a healthy LTR), and someone who regularly leaves people wanting more from them might have a pattern that’ll continue for a long time. Think about whether you and your beautiful heart would be better off not going down that road to find out.